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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?