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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive guide to the words this generation is using to talk about love, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their exes crazy, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your decision to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {